The lunchbox

 Sometimes Bollywood movies feel like you are experiencing zombie apocalypse already. Its like the story line, the dialogues, the acting, the songs are all gnawing your brain and you come out dumber than when you entered the theater.

So  what  do you do with a movie that has Irrfan khan and Nawazuddin Siddiqui in it? You pretty much  jump at your chance of resurrection and you go and watch it. I am talking about The lunchbox. It is a job so well done that it restored my diminishing faith in Indian Cinema. I am a human again.
Image

It’s a story that revolves around a neglected wife, Illa who believes her enhanced culinary skills would make her husband notice her again and relieve her of the drab of a life she has been living. She does find  relief  not from her own husband though. When The Lunchbox meant for her husband by an error of the dabbahwaala lands up at Saajan’s, a widower, office table. Saajan  is  fast approaching retirement from his dull and average job . Feelings are. what are exchanged through lunch box from then on.

Now you might think what got into me that I talk of a movie that has been released quite a while ago. Thats because I rewatched Life in a Metro. And I could not help but notice the stark similarity in a way.

Image

Two undermined Housewives Illa and Shikha(Shipa shetty in life in a metro) in a loveless marriage find solace and love outside of it. Both of them are blessed with husbands who are obnoxious and heartless  in their own way. And yes they are philanderer. So basically the housewives are living a life so pathetic that the audience would feel happy for them when they find love outside of their wedlock.

So far so good. Now I wait eagerly for that moment. When the wife would finally kick the sorry asses of their husband and walk out of it. But it ain’ t happening. Wait, What? I ain’t getting no action? While one sorry Ass gets the wife back, the other’s is still progressive as she plans to leave for another country. We see a plan there though even if we don’t see her actually doing it.

That is what disappointed me. Why couldn’t the women be shown walking out and accepting the love that they deserve. Because they aren’t  sure if the audience is prepared yet. Are we so open-minded and progressive e to accept the wife’s affair or are we still clinging on to the whole saga of how a wife should work out her marriage. The age-old formula. And for me this is where the creative glitch lies. This is where I see a powerful movie succumbing to the demand and narrow-mindedness of the society. The movie just doesn’t break free from the expectations and bondage just as the women don’t.

So what if the husbands are scum bags? The man is shown sleeping around on various occasions. The woman isn’t. Because the woman should return chaste. So the one time she wants to give in to her feelings, the douche of a friend has to return early and spoil it.

 It is okay for a groom to abandon his wedding though. The bride is just a mere measurement of blouse and petticoat. We can accept that. See aren’t we progressive?

Having said that I loved these movies. More so The Lunch box.

Image

Life Lessons from Bigg Boss.

I am a sucker for Big Boss. I look forward for it with the anticipation of a drama starved average woman. And if you think you are too sophisticated for the show, you know what, you may be right. Stick to daily soaps. Tamed and predictable. Now I am not a promoter of Bigg Boss, even though the post may prove otherwise, but it has been my guide like no one else has been.

You do not mash garlic in other people’s mug

04rakhi2

o jejus!!! Why me?

Now who would have known I could have learnt an important lesson, as this,  from Rakhi Sawant. She is my favorite Drama queen. Now would you blame her? Ginger? I understand. But garlic? who does that? Oh wait. Amit Sadh. So this one happened in the first season. When Amit, one of the contestant decided to pick up a random mug (conveniently not his and conspiratorially Rakhi’s ) and mash garlic in it.  From then own I have learnt my lesson and stuck to it. I mash the garlic in a different mug and add it to the tea later.

Image


You might get a bottle in your face for being too charitable

kamaal khan

You do not  DO NOT offer charity and then brag about it. More so to The Kamaal Khan. He who is a “Multi Millionaire”, He, who lives in 21000 sqft palace, He who drinks french water(Are you sure Kamaal its not called French wine?), He who drinks London tea. And if you happen to do just that, Look out for any unidentified flying object around, it could be a bottle headed right for your talking-too-much face.

rohit

It landed on my face! Just like that!

“Baap pe mat jaana”

Dolly-bindra-bigg-boss-season-4

Baap pe mat jaana!!!

When Manoj Tiwari’s love for the eggs made him challenge Dolly’s father in Bigg boss 5. I knew right away! This episode is going to be my favorite of all time. Ahem! Not for the ugly spat of course for the valuable lesson it taught me.

No matter how ugly a situation gets, you do not involve fathers. Fathers are like those forbidden but lucrative areas that you never trespass. Mothers are fine, going by the number “your mum” jokes doing rounds on the internet, but fathers, nope.

Do not wash dirty linens in public

We all know this one is an idiom but do you all know how it came into existence? I was unaware too until Bigg boss blessed me with the higher wisdom. So once upon  a time there was a “I know I am beautiful”  Veena Malik and some Ashmit patel. Veena Malik had a enormous treasure of stilettos. Red, Golden, green, blue and all colors possible. She admired them day and night.

veena

They were very dear to her. Of course Ashmit was a dear too. Veena dilegently washed all the dirty linens of Ashmit even his chaddis until Ashmit under the influence of some evil power stole Veena’s beloved stilettos and didn’t  care to show them any love or respect. There were war of words like never before. By the end of which Ashmit got a flying stilettos and we the idiom. Veena swore never to wash dirty linens(of Ashmit) publically.

’14 years’ is a Pyscho boyfriend and not a Time span 

delnaaz

F-O-U-R-T-E-E-N Y-E-A-R-S

Anybody seen Delnaaz? If you do happen to, tell her Mr 14 years is looking for her. He(fourteen years)is planning to file a defamation and a case of over exploitation against her.

Yes Delnaaz we get it  you were married to Rajeev Paul for 14 years. That in itself is an achievement! But you see for a moment I Thought ‘fourteen years’, and not Rajeev, is your husband  . And then it  dawned upon  me that  he(fourteen years) is the Psycho Boyfriend who clings on to you like a leech and reaches everywhere before you do. That is why you kept on saying that even your marriage with Rajeev was for ‘fourteen years’. YA?

I choose the ‘mumma’ you made me.

So recently I was scanning through your past year’s picture. And it is then I realized how you are all grown up. It doesn’t seem very long ago I googled a million pages because you had just swallowed a teeny weeny piece of a kiwi(yes people I am that crazy!) or the time when I refused to take you to this pediatrician because she didn’t smile at you, the time when I cried because you had just puked out milk.(In my defense I knew nothing about spitting up then) or when I almost tore off your daddy’s shirt  for I thought he had not effectively conveyed to my gynecologist the extreme (labor)pain I was in. That all seems a hazy memory now(literally!)

It would be two years now, two years of having you in my life. A few days back I woke up from a dream and I got all restless and just couldn’t go back to sleep for an hour. Nightmare? Not exactly! I dreamt of getting pregnant  and going into labor again. That is how scared I am of having another baby. No I am not scared of the labor pain or the responsibility that would come with it (okay that too, who am I kidding?) but I fear that I might not have an easy and wonderful kid like you. YOU my child have been a pleasure to have right from the time I conceived you.

I have heard people talk about how their baby had fought all odds and been born and therefore is a miracle baby. But I have always thought that in such cases the parents are the real heroes who have a rock solid strength to have an unfailing hope. I on the other hand, am not. And boy you understood that. And I knew you understood that from the time I saw your heart(or rather tiny you beating). I cried. And I cried every month when I saw you on screen. You have never given me a reason to worry, You had been a one push child. Yes one push and you were out and you still maintain your easygoing ways.

The haircut tells the story of your undemanding ways!

The haircut tells the story of your undemanding ways!

Even today, I feel guilty for that one moment and I know I owe you an explanation. For 32 weeks we were told that we were to have a baby girl. We weaved our life around pink. pink booties, pink mittens and pink dreams. And then just like that the Sonographer said

“He is doing fine!”

“you mean she!” I giggled still not suspecting anything but just an error of Pronoun.

” No, I mean the baby is a He, you know right?”

And just like that entered scrotum in our pinky dreams.

I cried for the unfairness of all, for the cute pink rompers I bought, for the songs i made keeping in mind a pretty little girl, for the name I had decide on. But let me put it this way, I did NOT cry because I was having you, I was crying because I was not having what I thought I would. But I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, because the moment i held you, I knew I had not wanted anyone or anything more than you. You were the one I always dreamt of. You always were my dream, they just took a little detour.

The moment I had you I knew my life changed from that moment on.

Yes.

I miss watching back to back episodes of my favorite sitcoms.

Image

I miss my days of clutches,

mcmbag14

If you know what I mean!

I miss my beauty sleep. Actually I miss any kind of sleep. Its getting much better now but there was a time I had started to resemble a zombie.

I miss trying and fitting into XS.

O XS when will you stop making me look like

O XS when will you stop making me look like belly dancer gone wrong.

But then what would i be without you?

A crazy lady with toned belly watching back to back episodes of a random show.